🌿 Embracing My Peacemaker Journey: Living Awake as an Enneagram 9
By Natalie | Natalie in the Wild
“I am learning to stay awake to my life.
I am learning to speak.
I am learning to feel.
I am learning to choose.
I am learning to thrive.”
This season of my life is about showing up—gently, steadily, and with heart.
Not rushing.
Not disappearing.
Just being here.
Fully.
Living Awake as an Enneagram 9
The Enneagram has helped me understand not just who I am, but how I move through the world.
As a Type 9—the Peacemaker—I’ve spent much of my life trying to avoid conflict.
I strive to preserve harmony and go with the flow.
I learned early how to smooth things over, how to stay agreeable, how to keep the peace.
But here’s the truth I’m finally learning:
Peacekeeping isn’t the same as peacemaking.
Peacekeeping slowly erases me.
Peacemaking brings me home to myself.
The Levels of Growth (and Drift)
Lately, I’ve become more aware of how I move through the Levels of Development in the Enneagram.
There are days I show up grounded, nurturing, and strong.
Days when I’m fully here—especially when I’m connected to people I trust.
Oddly enough, getting a tattoo feels like this to me.
A tattoo speaks for a part of my heart I don’t always have words for. It’s a form of self-expression that anchors me back into my body and my truth. These moments feel like healthy autonomy—I’m not avoiding, numbing, or disappearing.
I’m choosing.
I’m creating.
I’m alive.
When I Drift (and How I Return)
And then there are other days.
Days where I drift.
Days where I get lost in digital clutter.
Days where fear whispers that I’m not a “good enough” mom, friend, or daughter.
These are the lower levels—the familiar temptation to tune out, withdraw, or quietly resign.
It’s humbling.
It’s deeply human.
And it’s not the end of the story.
What I’m learning is that growth isn’t linear. It’s a spiral—a returning.
Instead of shaming myself when I feel overwhelmed, I practice reminding myself:
➡️ I’m allowed to pause, but I’m not powerless.
➡️ I can rest and move ahead.
➡️ I can create beauty even when I’m unsure.
Choosing Peace That Includes Me
Tattoos.
Reflections.
Conversations with safe people.
These are the ways I stay connected to what matters.
I’m not disappearing anymore.
I’m learning to feel what I feel.
Speak what’s true.
Choose how I respond.
That’s what living awake looks like for me right now.
✍️ Quote of the Week
“I am learning to stay awake to my life.
I want to speak and to feel.
I choose to thrive.”
🌱 Reflection Questions for Fellow Peacemakers
How do you practice peace in a way that doesn’t erase you?
When do you feel most alive and connected to yourself?
What helps you return when you’ve been “asleep” to your own needs?
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