Finding grace, surrender, and spiritual truth in unexpected places
It’s a strange thing when a heavy metal song makes you feel like God is whispering to your soul.
Aerials by System of a Down wasn’t written as a Christian song—but when I hear it, something stirs in me that feels deeply spiritual.
There’s truth in it.
There’s grief.
There’s a homesickness for something more.
“Life is a waterfall / We’re one in the river and one again after the fall.”
Those words hit differently when you’ve walked through the fall.
When you’ve felt separation.
When you’ve longed to be whole again.
To me, that line feels like Eden remembered—
oneness before the fall,
and the ache of forgetting who we were.
But grace keeps calling.
And in Christ, we return.
Not just someday after death—but even now, as we surrender.
Losing the Small Mind
“When you lose small mind, you free your life.”
I’ve lived in the small mind.
The place of fear, ego, overthinking, people-pleasing, and control.
It feels safe.
It’s a prison.
And it’s exhausting trying to hold everything together.
Jesus said that if we want to find our life, we have to lose it.
Lose the version we built out of fear.
Lose the self shaped by approval and performance.
Lose the illusion that control equals safety.
“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.”
— Romans 12:2
Losing the small mind doesn’t mean losing intelligence or identity.
It means releasing the tiny container we tried to live in—
and letting our soul stretch into something holy.
Something real.
Something free.
Aerials in the Sky
That word keeps echoing: Aerials.
It sounds like reaching.
Like a signal trying to tune in.
Maybe that’s what I am.
A soul trying to remember where she came from.
Reaching for God in the noise.
Catching glimpses of eternity in unexpected places—
like a metal song on a hard day.
“Set your mind on things above…”
— Colossians 3:2
God doesn’t only meet us in quiet sanctuaries.
Sometimes He meets us in lyrics, art, memory, and ache—
anywhere the heart is open enough to listen.
You Always Lose What You Cling To
That lyric could’ve come straight from the mouth of Jesus.
“Whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for my sake will find it.”
— Matthew 16:25
I’ve clung to identities, roles, people, and dreams that were never mine to keep.
And every time I’ve lost them, it’s hurt.
But it’s also made space.
God isn’t asking me to hold everything together.
He’s asking me to trust Him when it falls apart.
To believe that surrender is where real life begins.
The Alien in the Spotlight
The Aerials music video shows a distorted, childlike figure—paraded and exposed.
It looks like exhaustion.
Like pain.
Like performance without rest.
It looks like how I’ve felt before.
And yet—even there—I see grace.
A reminder that God sees us in our most alienated places.
That He restores what the world distorts.
“Come to me, all who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.”
— Matthew 11:28
A Prayer from the River
Lord,
Teach me to lose the small mind.
To stop clinging to what never really held me.
I’m tired of gripping the rocks.
I want to live free.
Help me return to You—
not just in the end,
but here,
now,
today.
Remind me who I am in You.
Remind me that I was never meant to carry it all.
You are my waterfall.
I’m letting go.
Amen.
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